Multi-generational living, where multiple generations live together, is quite common in many cultures and is increasingly popular in Australia. There are many reasons why families are choosing to consider this approach, so I thought I’d start by highlighting some pros and cons.
PROS
Increased social connections - there are endless studies that demonstrate the importance of social connections on ageing individuals, not only for emotional wellbeing, but for physical and cognitive health as well. This is not only for the older person, but for everyone else in the house as well.
Financial benefits - sharing the cost of living between families can help save money. Not only do you split your bills with another person, but you can also reduce potential costs on in-home care supports or aged care facilities.
Incidental exercise - whilst it’s hard to quantify this one, I know my Grandma is much more active when my toddler is around. She will make Cece a cup of tea or walk around the garden with her. She’ll also unpack the dishwasher or pop a load of washing on if she see’s it (I know, what a legend!!).
Ability to respond quickly to needs - variable health conditions means not all days look the same. For older people with these types of conditions, it can be incredibly helpful to have someone on hand to assist on the mornings you wake up and it all feels a bit too hard. Home Care Package services aren’t usually responsive enough to be organised on the same day.
Social responsibility - this value might not be held by everyone, but I believe we have a social responsibility to care for those less fortunate. I can’t think of a better way of instilling that message to my child than having someone in our home that we care for. (Side note, I didn’t think I could love my husband more than I already do, but seeing him care for my Grandma as though she’s his own is so damn beautiful!!)
CONS
I wouldn’t necessarily say these are cons, but more so things to be aware of…
Long-term commitment - everyone involved needs to understand and be committed to the ongoing care of the older person. Whilst no one knows how long they may be able to remain living at home, it’s helpful to have an estimate and ensure that can fit with your other life plans. E.g. can’t take a job interstate the following year.
Regular communication - having open, regular conversations about everyones roles around the house is important. By having these check-ins regularly, you can ensure all members of the household are able to raise any concerns that may arise.
Illness - one that is especially relevant in our household is cross-contamination and exposure to illness. With a toddler that attends childcare 1 day/week, we have our fair share of colds and flus. It’s been really important for us to consider the impact of this and strategies to minimise risk.
Readiness to move - one of the most challenging pieces of moving out of your own home is not feeling like you’re ready for the help. The tricky part is that this move is best done when you are still well enough to move and adapt to the new environment (which means you often don’t feel ready). Whilst no one can definitively tell you yes or no, it helps to talk with your health care professionals to determine if it’s time to consider moving.
I believe all conversations aged care are nuanced and never a one-size-fits-all approach. When it comes to shared living arrangements, there are a number of financial and social considerations that will look very different for each family. It can be incredibly helpful to seek independent financial and legal advice to ensure you’ve considered all available options and understand your individual circumstance.
With all this in mind, I thought I’d share a little more about our situation and the various options we considered, including questions we asked ourselves along the way.
OUR SITUATION
OCCUPANTS: 2yo toddler, myself, my husband and my 90yo Grandma.
WORK: My husband works full time, I am self-employed and work part-time which gives me a high-level of flexibility and my Grandma is (unsurprisingly) retired.
FINANCES: Grandma decided to sell her home in a retirement village to move in with us. We have some assets to our name, but not enough to afford a 3-4BR home that would fit us all.
FAMILY: Grandma has five children who are all incredibly supportive. We’re very lucky to have a family that speaks openly, honestly and prioritises Grandma’s wellbeing above all else.
HOUSING OPTIONS
PURCHASE vs. RENT - Is one party or the other able to purchase a property suitable for all to live in? Can you move into an existing property? If not, is renting a property a possible solution?
UNDER ONE ROOF vs. GRANNY FLAT - Do you want a detached granny flat? Or are you happy under the one roof? Do you want seperate living areas? Do you need more than one bathroom? Will you be cooking meals together or separately?
OUR CONSIDERATIONS
CARE NEEDS - What care does Gma currently require? What care does our toddler currently require? What are the longer term projections of how their care needs will change? Who will be the primary carer? What other support (e.g. Home Care Package) is available?
FINANCIAL IMPLICATIONS - Should we buy a property together? Should we move into a rental together? How do we split the bills? How do we pay for groceries? What happens if either of our financial situations drastically changes?
TIME IMPLICATIONS - Does the primary carer have time to take on additional caring duties? What other supports are available to assist the primary carer? Will the primary carer need to forgo work to provide care?
HOUSING REQUIREMENTS & EQUIPMENT - Is the house accessible now and into the foreseeable future? Do you have the equipment required to provide care? Are you able to access funding for modifications or equipment if required?
IMPACT ON PARTNER & CHILDREN - Have you discussed realistically how day-to-day life will change? What additional tasks may the partner need to take up? How will you still make time for you as a couple and as a family?
CONCLUSION
We ended up choosing to move into a 3BR, 2 bathroom rental in an absolutely beautiful suburb right near where my Grandma grew up. The house is divine and provides her with a completely seperate living and dining area if she wants to entertain privately, but also opens up easily into the rest of the house when she wants company.
We’re only just over 2 weeks into our intergenerational journey, but safe to say I’m LOVING it. The absolute pure joy I feel when I see my toddler running in to see GG (Great-Grandma) each morning is indescribable. It’s been a big adjustment for Grandma, but she takes everything in her stride. As someone who works from home a lot, it’s so nice to have company through out the day and someone I can share the wins with. We sneak in a game of scrabble or a crossword over lunch and share dinner as a family all together. It honestly still feels a bit surreal.
I’ve had many sliding doors moments along this journey wondering how this decision will impact the rest of her life. How long could she have remained at her old home? What benefits will intergenerational living have on her wellbeing? Will this ultimately be easier for the family having her closer to the city? How is her health going to progress? Will she reflect on this decision positively?
What I’m learning to accept is that you rarely have every piece of information upfront to make a decision. No one knows what the future of their health looks like. No one knows what curveballs life might throw at you. What I take comfort in is knowing that we’ve made the best decisions we can for our family and have the absolute privilege of providing care for my Grandma with the incredible support of our extended family - how lucky are we!!
If you have any questions, please feel free to send me an email. I’m always happy to help point people in the right direction.
My podcast, ‘The Truth About Ageing’ is still on hiatus. I’ve been incredibly lucky to be very busy in my business lately, so the podcast has been popped on the back-burner! You can still access the full back-catalogue of episodes through your favourite podcast app (Apple Podcasts, Spotify) or at www.navigateagedcare.com.au/podcast
Occasionally I also post updates on socials, which you can find at:
Facebook - @navigateagedcareau
Instagram - @thetruthaboutageing
Thank you again for being part of the Navigate gang. Please feel free to pass this email on to a friend of family member - the more the merrier!
Big love,
Kate.
Comments